Hello and Welcome!

Hello, World!
... Okay, hello to the three people who are reading this. Hello.

This is a blog about... home theater shopping prices! Hah! Did I get you? I hope so, because if I didn't, then I just wasted this precious amount of space on a lame joke. If I did... then it's still a waste.

Either way, this is actually a blog about Anime... you know, those cartoons that Japan makes and have become amazingly popular... everywhere, but since I live in the United States of Asparagus, I'm talking about here.

What's up with Americans anyway? Okay, American white people, we all want to be... other cultures. I still don't get the whole "White Rapper" thing (how is Eminem these days?), and I know plenty of people who want to be Japanese... and I'm one of them! Manga and anime is damn cool!

In this blog, I will be reviewing and... ultimately spoiling all of the animes that you have always wanted to see but never could! How cool is that?
Seriously, I'll do my best not to spoil anything for anyone who actually stumbles across my blog, but since this is my first one, I don't know how to do much, so bear with me for a while.

I have quite an extensive knowledge of animes and mangas since I'm... well... a geek. Don't judge... if you've gotten this far, you're one too. Either that, or your a mental health student who believes that you've found your final thesis subject. Or maybe you're both, who knows?

Since this is my first post (if you don't count all of the times that I accidentally published a mutant version of this post while I was trying to Ctrl+I to italicize), I'll lay down some ground rules.

Since this is a blog... the rules change randomly depending on my whims.

A general rule of thumb is that I am open to criticism, so long as it is; "Awesome! I'm going to give you massive wads of cash for no discernible reason! Keep up the good work!".
Translation: Please don't say anything overly bitchy. Hate mail really sucks.

Granted, I can't actually stop you from posting disgruntled comments, but I can tell you this;
If you do, then I'll... keep on writing! Bwa ha ha ha! How do you like that?! You can't stop me now! I have an account and everything!!
And God help you if you if you misspell something, because I'll just publish a post on your illiteracy.
That's how I roll; complain about a complaint. It's the quickest way to lose a good point in a meaningless scuffle of words and logic-impaired arguments (those are mine, by the way).

... Just what was I talking about? Oh yeah! Rules!

There is also be profanity, okay? I hope you don't mind too much, but if you do, I'm sorry, but since I have an impaired vocabulary, I need to fill in the gaps with swear words, overly complicated words, and misdirection... LOOK! A FLYING COW!
I also have an unfortunate tendency to make up words and try to jam them into situations that no human mind has yet tried to define. Words like "uden-tover" (pronounced "Ooh-den toe-vehr).
Actually, my English teacher made this one up while she was writing my evaluation. I still think it's funny. Gives you an idea of how little purpose there actually is to my life.

Concerning the actual content of the blog (God forbid), there will be all kinds of anime on here... except hentai... for now... fu fu fu...
No, seriously, there will be no animated porn here, though depending on your interpretation of porn, there will be some stuff that might get close.
Those animes are in a category known as "ecchi", meaning... okay, I actually don't really know, and I'm too lazy to haul my mouse clicker over to the search bar, type that word in, and search it, though I have enough energy to type all that shit, not to mention this absurdly long post. Damn, why are you still reading this garbage?

Back to ecchi (like I need an excuse)!
Ecchi is basically soft core porn, consisting of upper torso nudity (of women. I've never seen a male ecchi anime, but I do steer clear of yaoi); no... ahem... insertion. Maybe a little kissing.
Basically, if you're a teenager, or of the male persuasion curious enough to check it out, you'll probably be okay.

I'll warn you before we hit it though, so you'll have plenty of time to flee the country, shave your head, and join a Buddhist monastery.

And that's about all the rules that I can think of right now.

The way the schedule will actually work is that I'll watch an anime movie or several anime episodes a day, then go to bed, leaving the blog post for the next day. And so this'll be the last post you'll ever see from me.

Wait, wait, WAIT, GOD DAMMIT! Stop cheering! This is only my first post!

What'll really happen is that I'll watch the anime, then I'll come on here and... get ready for it... WRITE ABOUT IT!
... Why aren't you all clapping now?

If it's a movie, then I'll fully review it in one or two posts depending on how tired I am.
If it's an anime show though, I'll watch the entire thing, then review it at the end.
You'll get the general layout of the review in my first, oh wait, second post.

There'll be no discernible order to the anime that I watch and review, except at certain points in the near future (on the calender, at least... since the weeks are only a couple of inches apart... it's a visual joke, sorry.), where you will notice a series.

Three more things you should know...

1. I will be doing all of the Hayao Miyazaki (or Miyazaki Hayao) movies, but later on, since I still haven't seen Ponyo yet because I don't, if you want to get strictly technical, have any burning interest in seeing it, but I will... for you.
I'll even be doing ones that (as far as I know), he wasn't involved in, but rather were produced/created by Studio Ghibli like Tales from Earthsea.
Actually, it was Goro Miyazaki (his first (I actually don't know) son) who directed Earthsea, and now the two are not on exactly happy with each other for reasons that you already know or will be explained during that review.

2. I will not be doing any Naurto or Bleach or whatever animes even an "adult" could name. Not because I think they suck, but rather because I don't really have the time to watch all that. I wouldn't get anything done if I tried now.

That means, for right now, no...

Naruto
Bleach
Full Metal Alchemist
Inuyasha
One Piece
or D. Gray-Man.

Sorry. Maybe later.

3. I'll be pointing you out to sites on the web that let you download anime for free! I'm telling you sites because that way I'll look good supporting a site, and if the FBI comes asking questions, I'm not in any real trouble.
Be forewarned though, one of them isn't exactly... me friendly. I think you need to sign up in order to download half of the stuff there (you'll know what stuff if you have the same problem as me (the stuff you want)), and one of the questions is "What's Uncle Ho's birthday (ex. 000-786-00085)" written in Vietnamese.
Not only do I not know "Uncle" Ho's (Ho Chi Min) birthday, but I don't know what kind of calendar they're using over there in the first place. They have Mediafire folders for a good share of the stuff, though, but when you download it and go to the Audio tab on your player, mentally substitute "Japanese" for "Nederlands" (yes, I know it's not spelled Netherlands).

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll explain it to you in another post, and whether you know what I'm talking about or not, I still recommend LQ (low-quality) downloads (under 100 mb per show). Maybe it's just my computer, but it looks close enough to HQ, and isn't as glitchy.  Plus it's... (duh) smaller.

I just looked at the preview of this post and damn, it's long, so I'll just shut up now, and go... watch anime!

But fear not (or do, I don't care so long as you come back)!
I'll be back to teach you all the wonders of the downloading world, and review my first anime; the classic Ghost in the Shell, which is in the ecchi category for a couple of scenes, but it's Motoko, and she's got a good body, so why are you complaining.
It's also got a little bit of blood, but if you can't handle it, then you shouldn't watch anything else that I label "Mature", cause you're going to have an aneurysm when we hit Elfen Lied.

Also, I'm labeling it "Mature" not for boobs, blood, and guts, but rather for the kind of "Mature" where you can handle the existential crap that Masamune Shirow pulls out in pretty much all of his work.

I could put it under the "Beginners'll Need Aspirin" category if you like... comments...